i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
