pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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