Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
