my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
