You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
