We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
be right there i have to get my cape
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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