my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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