I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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