At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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