: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
