her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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