Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
