Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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