Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
