You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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