I think i sorta joined a cult last night
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
