Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
are you so shy because you have an std?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize