you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
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she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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