I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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