this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
