it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
