they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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