Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize