I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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