i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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