Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
