I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
