Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
