the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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