we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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