I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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