I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
