big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
