Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
