I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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