actually, I'm a sock model
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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