sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
