ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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