I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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