I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you would pick up someone in the library
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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