Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
