Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
