he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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