yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
