my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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