I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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