I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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