I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
