I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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