JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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