Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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