yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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