apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
