I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
