I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize