After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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