I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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