i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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