What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
